Rimmer Re Born
by Andy0001z
Summary: At the end of Series 8 he is Captain of a Dying ship and all alone with the exception of a very smug Vending machine. The story continues this moment on. Reviews welcome all complete now.
1. Out of Time

**My first Fan fiction attempt. Inspired by so many good works here. I hope I have given life to the Boys of the Dwarf once more.**

**This Story is set at the closing scenes of Series 8 with Rimmer just being hit on the head by the angry vending machine.....**

Rimmers body crashed to the floor, around him flames shot out of gaps appearing in the grey corridor walls. The virus was slowly eaten away at everything on Red Dwarf.

He awoke the heat around him becoming unbearable now. Rimmer wondered '_how long have I lay here?'_, he knew he had to get away, to get off Red Dwarf.

The exit to the other reality was now lost to him and so he ran down the corridor towards the Express Lift that would hopefully still be operational. Rimmers plan fwas to go for the flight deck on Floor 247 and get the hell out. He rounded a corner jumping over the large gaps that had started to appear in the floor. Gaps that meant he could see two maybe three decks down, he did not stop to look, to stop would be fatal now he knew his fear would take over and that would fix him to the spot.

There it was his ticket out, the shifny metal doors of an Express Lift. Rimmer slapped the call button. Hours seemed to pass, but seconds did. Nothing, '_SMEG!'_ he thought, '_the virus must have gotten to it'_. What was he was thinking it was a stupid plan to use the lift, but how else was he going to cover the fifty five floors down to the flight deck.

Rimmers brain screamed at him, '_THINK DAMIT!'_. then a spark a hope, yes there was a way the emergency access stairs, if they were still in one piece he could maybe, just maybe make it.

He stumbled through the door to the stairwell, strange groaning noises erupting around him. The ship was not going to last much longer. The stairs at least looked stable. He started down them, two sometimes three at a time. Floor 303, Floor 302, Floor 301, '_Smeg still 52 floors to go' _Rimmer thought as his heart pounded hard. He continued on Floor 279, Floor 278, his chest now hurt.

His mind took his thoughts away to hide the pain, he thought why had he not done those morning runs for real? Instead of just rounding the corner and finding somewhere to wait just long enough until it was a safe time to return to his room. Lister who was often doing horrible things with his toe nails would sit there while Rimmer made out that his run had been a "_Super work out Listy"_ when really he had been reading the latest copy of Telegraph Pole monthly. _Why hadn't he work out - WHY!!_.

Floor 258 and he collapsed onto the stairwell, his legs could not cope, his body could not cope, he was a wreck got dam it and he knew it.

Minutes passed his breathing got slower, maybe he could go on, '_he had to go on' _he thought. '_SMEG it was only another 10 floors to the flight deck'_. He ran on, down to his freedom, out from this hell hole, down over the grinding and twisting metal.

Rimmer heard a noise, it sounded like those old movies when a ship was sinking, a huge strain of metal. He dare not stop. Just as his legs screamed at him to go no further, there it was a glint of hope, the next floor was 248 the exit was only one flight down. Renewed he pushed on but fate was cruel and he heard the roar, the sound of metal folding and crashing down above him. He dared not look up, he lept through the open the door just as a mass of twisting staircase crashed past, down into the depths of the ship.

The dust settled and he looked at the flight deck and saw what he feared the most, he saw nothing, no Starbugs, No Blue Midgets nothing not a sausage. The huge flight deck was empty just a big blank space where his escape plan should have been.

Rimmer sank to his knees, he had nothing left, no energy for a primal scream, only enough to think. '_I give in, no more running'._ He was done, time to meet his maker or whatever happened next. He waited, he waited for Death.

CHP1 V1.2

**Thanks to Cazflibs for her thoughts and help, make sure you check out her work, it is much better than mine :)**


	2. Hope

**Thanks and credit for putting the polish on this next chapter goes to Cazflibs, thanks for Beta.**

Death himself did not show up, but much to Rimmer's surprise, Lister did.

Lister sat at the controls of Starbug, steering the ship in through the decaying doors of Red Dwarf's cargo bay, and into the flight deck area. He was very careful not to touch anything attached to Red Dwarf as he brought the craft to a hover, straining with concentration at the controls. One touch against the decaying walls of Red Dwarf would mean they too would also become infected and the game would be up.

Below Starbug on the flight deck was Arnold J. Rimmer, staring up at Lister with his mouth hanging wide open.

"He's right below us guys!" Lister shouted back at the others. "Rimmer's there! Go for it, Kryten!"

Hearing Lister's signal as they stood next to Starbug's exit, Kochanski helped Kryten in heaving open the external door, gasping as they noticed the extent of the decay the virus had inflicted on Red Dwarf.

Kryten turned to Kochanski. "Oh my, we don't have long ma'am. Lower me down."

Kryten slowly descended down towards Rimmer, huge pieces of Red Dwarf's flight deck ceiling smashing onto the decks below.

The Cat sat in the other flight chair, keeping a nose out for objects that might take fall onto the 'Bug and infect it, or worse cause it to crash to the deck below.

"Wow that was a close one, bud!" The Cat looked over to Lister. "That one was almost as big as my last walk in wardrobe. You know the one it had a built in travel mat?"

"Not now, Cat," Lister urged him. "Concentrate on what the smeg is going on out there, man."

Back down on the flight deck, Rimmer simply stood, looking up at the craft in shock. Was this real or some sick trick of his mind? Had they really come back for him?

Kochanski leaned out and looked down at Kryten dangling far below. "How far?" She yelled over the din of the dying Dwarf.

Kryten swivelled his head 180 degrees to look back up at her and she winced at the feat only a mechanoid or a serious space bike accident could achieve. "Not far now ma'am, just a little bit further."

It had taken the team two years to find a way back, a way to save Rimmer. Two long years of getting all the bits needed to battle the virus and get back to this universe. Right at this second, as Kochanski leaned out of the door surveying the decay and destruction going on around her, she had to ask herself if Rimmer worth it.

Of course, at first they had just accepted it. Rimmer was gone. What could they do? After all, they were stuck in a parallel universe.

The Cat was his normal perky self. He was the first to say. "Face it guys, he's gone! Yeahawwwooowww!" He'd even performed a little dance to drive home the excitement of the statement.

Lister didn't accept it, he couldn't. It was him that had convinced the others to help, to go back. And so here they were, risking their lives for this maggot of a man; the same man that had got them put in Red Dwarf's prison, The Tank.

All along, Kochanski had not had a rosy feeling about helping Rimmer out. In fact, she'd not had a tulip or buttercup feeling about the matter. But after seeing the pleading in Lister's eyes, she'd relented. She'd do it for him.

Lister's voice called from the cockpit, echoing a twang of urgency. "How's it going guys? I can't hold her much longer, it's getting pretty messy out there!"

Kochanski stuck her head back inside the door and called back to Lister. "Just hang on, I think he's got him."

She glanced back down at Kryten's swinging frame. He was too far down to hear her shouts above the noise of the destruction going on around them. She watched him swing past the waiting Rimmer and reach desperately towards Rimmer's extended arm, like one of those fairground games that never let you win anything. Only this time, Kryten had succeeded in his epic task and latched his powerful grip onto Rimmer's arm.

"YES! He has him!" Kochanski called back to Lister, her voice raised a few octaves by the excitement of the moment.

She slammed the winch into reverse and heard the mechanism groan as it hauled the mechanoid's weight along with Rimmer back up into Starbug.

Once everyone was back inside, Rimmer sat there at the table unable to speak. He couldn't register what had just happened. Had they really crossed parallel universes to save him? He didn't have time to ask any of them as they dashed back into the cockpit, Kochanski's voice barking out instructions as soon as she reached her station. There was an air of urgency about her voice as she called them off.

"Kryten, is the Anti-Virus loaded into the garbage canon?" She hollered without even looking up from the console.

"Yes, ma'am" Kryten replied as he tripled-checked his controls.

She quickly made some calculations based on the rate of decay she had seen outside. "Cat, take us out and to within four clicks of Red Dwarf."

The Cat turned around and grinned at her. "Aye, aye, officer bud babe," he saluted before lightly bringing the 'Bug around in a perfect 180 degree turn and out through the mostly disintegrated cargo bay doors.

For the first time since sitting down at her station, Kochanski looked up from the console and over towards Lister. "You better pray this works or we are going to be stuck out here. And I for one don't relish the idea of living onboard Starbug for months with you lot again."

Lister turned around and smiled. "It will work. It has to work." He shifted his attention to Kryten. "Fire the canon, Krytie. Let's kick this virus back to where it came from."

He was feeling positive, and well why not. Part one of the plan had pulled off perfectly, all that had to happen now was to let the Anti virus to do its stuff. Sure, it was a long shot, and sure it had never been tested, but somehow he knew it had to work.

Kryten pressed the launch button "Butt-kicking Anti-Virus deployed, sir!"

Now they just had to wait.


	3. Why

As Lister stepped into the midsection, Rimmer glanced up at him. He looked different somehow; he certainly wasn't wearing the same clothes as normal, and looked, well frankly, cleaner than he last remembered.

"Why did you come back?" he asked.

"I had too. Rimmer, man, you and I go back too far to us to just leave you here." Lister paused as if in thought, then added in a more sheepish voice. "Plus once we realised that you had gone back through the parallel mirror without the correct formula, I kinda felt guilty. I knew that you where stuck on Red Dwarf as it decayed with no means of escape."

Rimmer thought he knew Lister better than most. They had been through a lot together in the time they had spent in the Tank. He liked to think he had gotten to know Lister as much as the old Rimmer had. But, had Lister really come back for him? Rimmer's brain retreated to the self doubt that bore through his soul. '_Or was there another reason?_' he thought.

Lister had despised him, making his life misery for years. Had he come back just to continue the petty daily grind of annoying him? To make his life hell, was that really it?

His thoughts were interrupted as Lister spoke again.

"Listen man," Lister stumbled over the words. "I kinda realised that since we first met back on Mimas," he was remembering that junior officer in his uniform trying his best to convince Lister that he was really going to the best restaurant in town, that just happened to be smack in the middle of the Red Light District. He grinned as he continued. "You and I have gone through some serious smeg together."

Rimmer felt anger now, then sorrow. "Lister, that wasn't me, that was the other me, the real me. Not this nano version of me." There, he thought, he had said it. The one thing that had bugged him since Red Dwarf and all the crew had been re-created by the nanobots. Deep down he still felt bitter about the relationship Lister had with the old Rimmer. Lister had sometimes told Rimmer about the adventures that he and the other Rimmer had been on before getting Red Dwarf back. Of course he had brushed it off at the time but deep down it really got to him.

Lister sat down opposite him. "You have memories right, and you're as human as I am, so to me, Rimmer, you are that same smeghead."

"Lister that creature we found on that space wreck last week was more human than you, so don't compare my genes with yours!" Rimmer sniped as he stared back at him with disgust.

Lister continued regardless. "But seriously, to me you are him."

Rimmers voice took on a note of calm. "But I don't understand Lister, you despise me."

Lister stood up, and thrust his hands deep into his space jacket pockets. "I can't explain it man, it is just meant to be this way."

Lister was concerned. Maybe Rimmer's near death escape was proving too much to deal with right now. "Rimmer man, are you OK?"

"Yes Yes, just leave me alone," Rimmer snapped back at him. "I just need to think."

Lister turned away knowing it was best to leave him be for now and went to join the others.

Rimmer sat there thinking. Of course pleased that he was alive. Indeed alive and not a hologram like his predecessor. It was just that somehow he could not believe that they had risked their lives for him. This was not 'hey you! Watch that bus!' kind of stuff. This was travelling across space and time.

Would he have done the same for them? Probably not. He knew that he was not on any of their Christmas card lists. So why had they bothered? He didn't like the direction his thoughts had been taking him. As he saw it he had two options. One: retreat into the maggot of the man he truly was, or two: change. Maybe he could be more than the mess that was Arnold J. Rimmer BSC SCC. After all, hadn't Lister told him that his predecessor had gone off to become the next Ace Rimmer? His head hurt, as he got up and joined the others.

Cat smelt Rimmer even before he had placed a foot into the cockpit. He whipped around to greet him. "Hey bud, nice to have you back," he grinned at him with his insanely white canine teeth.

'_Hang on_,' Rimmer thought. _'Was that a complement from the Cat? That wasn't like him_?'

Kryten turned to Rimmer. "Er sir? Your old station, the science officer's console is all freshly dusted for you sir."

Rimmer sat down. Something was up. Did they know something he didn't? He decided to play it cool.

"OK, so what's the plan?" he asked, not looking up from his console.

Lister turned to him and answered. "Well, we created this anti-virus that we hope will save Red Dwarf, or at best make it usable." The last part of his sentence was said with a tad less confidence than Rimmer would have liked.

"And is it working?", Rimmer asked, hoping that the answer was yes. He really didn't want to spend another 200 years aboard Starbug again and as it was, he hadn't even had time to pack Rachel.

"Well sir, " Kryten began, "it will take about 48 hours for us to be certain and so I suggest we sit tight and wait and see. Shall I make tea and sandwiches?"

"Best plan yet, Kryten," beamed Lister.

Kryten got up and left for the kitchen, leaving a very puzzled looking Rimmer.

"What about the rest of the crew, what happened to them?" Rimmer asked, then remembering his run-in with the vending machine adding, "The smegging vending machine said the crew had all abandoned ship. It looked like he was right from the lack of ships on the flight deck."

"We're not sure, but we think most got out on the Starbug's and Midgets onboard," Lister replied.

"Well according to the navicomp, there are several thousand signals coming from that nearby planet", said Kochanski leaning over her console.

Lister looked at the others, knowing full well that they were thinking the same as him. Should they go and find the crew and risk that they could end up in whatever version the Tank was nowadays? Or should they simply wait until Red Dwarf was fixed and then continue towards home without them, thereby stranding them to whatever fate this planet had to offer, forever.

Rimmer spoke first, his voice slightly shaky but more determined than normal. "I say we go down there and find them!"

"Rimmer man, are you sure?" Lister questioned, more out of surprise than anything else.

The Cat butted in. "I say fire up the warp engines and let's skedaddle out of here, forget those pesky monkeys!"

Kryten appeared at the doorway with a tray fall of tea and very neatly cut triangle sandwiches. "Firstly sir, we don't have warp engines and secondly we…"

Lister interrupted quickly. "OK Kryten, I think he gets the point"

"There was a point? I was still ready to fire up the engines," said the Cat looking at himself in his best driving mirror. Of course his driving mirror was the same shape and size as his walking mirror and his sitting mirror and his food mirror. All, however, had their own colour and detailed fabric design on the back.

Kryten set the tray down and looked at the navicomp figures. "It says there are over 2000 life signs down there, sir. It is my duty as a mechanoid to point out Space Corps directive 101b."

"Ahh, 101b," started Rimmer. "No crewmember shall leave another crewmember behind when all possible avenues have not been assessed that might lead to the rescue of that aforementioned crewmember."

"Why, that's correct Mr Rimmer, sir", said Kryten, looking somewhat surprised that he had indeed got the directive correct.

Lister looked at Kochanski for approval, who simply shrugged. "I'm with you guys. It's not like I have much choice."

**Next Chapter soon (I hope). Thanks to the Beta: Cazflibs**

**Please leave a review to let me know your thoughts on this Possible Series 9 story.**


	4. Planet Time

Starbug roared through the upper atmosphere of the planet, the crew bumped and buffeted in their seats as they approached the target area.

Kochanski glanced up from her console. "I am getting readings 20 clicks due east."

The Cat wrinkled his nose. "I can smell them, feewweee" he grimaced.

"Sirs, I suggest we open communications and see if we can establish the state of any survivors." Said Kryten looking over at Lister.

Rimmer looked at Kryten. "Open emergency channel delta Kryten."

Kryten flicked a series of switches and reported back. "Channel Open sir, may I suggest you take a tactful approach sir."

Rimmer face pulled itself into a sneer and began. "I think I know how to communicate in an emergency Smegford brains, thank you very much." But then he caught himself and regretted slipping into his spiteful ways so quickly, he corrected. "Good suggestion Kryten, we don't know what state they are in do we."

The others all turned and looked at Rimmer, but he just carried on. His slightly nasally tones broke the radio airwaves.

"This is the Red Dwarf Space Craft Starbug 1 calling all surveyors of the Ship Red Dwarf do you read us, please respond?"

Static

He tried again. "This is the Red Dwarf Space craft Starbug 1 please respond if you can hear us!"

Static. Then a muffled noise and then more static.

Lister could feel the tension in the room and broke the silence. "It's no good man, they can't here us we will have to go down to them. Hit the retros Cat and take her down." He gripped the sides of his seat in anticipation at the bumpy landing.

The five of them stepped out onto the lush green grass of the planet. All around them life was blossoming. A stream trickled near by, while strange birds flew overhead.

"What the smeg is this place Kryten?" said Lister brushing his hand over the tall green grass.

Kryten performed a scan, and looking rather annoyed whacked the side of the Psi-Scanner. "OH dam 3891 model.", the device beeped once more and Kryten continued. "The Psi-scan reports a normal Class 3 planet; all the basic elements of life are here." He paused checking the information again. "Wait there's more. There are massive psychic readings here, but they appear to be fading fast."

"Kryten are you telling me that this place is like Earth?" asked Lister

"Indeed sir it has all the elements that would make up your home planet. Best guess I would say the crew have struck lucky and stumbled upon a new Earth. If you forgive the bad 1990s film title, a kind of Earth 2."

Listers questioned Kryten. "Come on Kryters, don't go all Star trek on me is this Earth or not?"

Kryten bent over a small yellow flower which smelt to all intensive purposes like freshly ground coffee. "No sir, I would say this is another wonder of the Universe, however I have another theory but I need more time to be sure."

Kochanski had moved over by a small stream. She gazed into the crystal clear waters as she leant over it. Her head pressed close to the water she drank deeply. '_Oh god that's good' _she thought, _'100% non re-cyc water.'_

She called to the others. "Guys, this water is the purest water I have every tasked it's amazing."

Kryten hurried over to her, a note of concern in his voice "Ma'am you don't know where that waters been, may I suggest you don't go sticking you tongue into anything else until we have scanned it first." The others sniggered in the background at his remark.

Kryten looked like he would blow a circuit any second. "OK." She soothed. "I will play it safe and steady."

She noticed the Cat was missing. She shouted back at the others. "Hey where is the Cat?"

They looked about, but he was nowhere to be found.

Rimmer tutted. "Great all we need is a missing moggy on our hands. He could be anywhere by now."

Lister grinned. "Don't worry man, he always shows up in the morning, when he wants his bowl of Crispys."

They did not have to wait long before they heard the scream. A scream that clearly was human and sounded female. Lister called "That came from just behind that nearby hill."

Rimmer stood his hands on his hips, while the others started in the direction of the scream. "Oh great what has that stupid Moggy gone and done now?" He muttered.

They covered the ground as fast as they could and when they got to the brow of the hill they found the Cat sitting on a rock looking down at a rather petrified looking girl. She appeared to be about mid twenties.

It turned out that she had chosen this spot to rather unfortunately take a dip in a mountain stream. She screamed up at them "_Is he with you, he just won't stop staring at me_!"

Lister called to the Cat. "Cat, come on man leave the lady alone." However as he took in the scene he could not help noticing that she was rather less dressed than she might like to have been, especially someone with the current audience.

Rimmer came over the hill and ran down to the stream and handed the girl her robe. "Sorry about him." He said, turning his back to her so not to intrude on her modesty any further. "He has not seen a woman as lovely as you in some time."

She climbed out of the water and smiled at Rimmer. "It's OK it just we thought there was not any other survivors in the area and so when I saw him sitting up there looking at me it gave me quite a scare."

Rimmer patted her on the shoulder, unsure of what to do in the situation. He decided this was probably best. "Look we have come from Red Dwarf, and are here to rescue survivors, how many are there?"

She looked up at this strange man; he seemed nice so she decided not to run, not just yet anyhow. "Well in our group there are about 50, but we are getting word that there are other groups around the planet. Oh and I should say, I don't think we want rescuing kind sir."

At this the group looked at each other, not sure how to take this news.

Kochanski approached the girl. "Look we believe we have a cure for the Virus that is eating away at Red Dwarf, we can all go back."

The girl looked at her, taking her time to digest the news and all she said was. "OH, well that's OK we like it here." She smiled at them.

Rimmer leaned over and whispered in Listers ear. "Clearly she has lost it, she's very pretty but missing a few screws. We should get her to take us to her camp before it gets dark."

Lister nodded in agreement and asked the girl. "What is your name, I'm Dave, this is Rimmer and these are the Kryten and Kochanski and that over there is the Cat."

"Naddy." Replied the girl then adding. "I guess you will want to meet there others, follow me."

She led them the other side of the hill, through a small wood. Lister leaned over to Kryten "Is it just me or do these trees have a leather kind of smell?"

Krytens eyes flicked left to right trying not to look shifty but totally failing in the process. "Indeed they do, in fact something close to a new car smell if my nose is not mistaken, very strange."

The group came to an opening where they could see two Blue Midgets sitting on the grass. About 20 or so people could be seen busy building structures or setting up temporary stations.

Naddy called down to someone call Derrick.

"Hey Derrick I have found somebody, they say they are from the Dwarf and want to rescue us." There others noticed that her voice almost sounded like the last bit was said in jest.

A group of the survivors meet them as they entered the camp. Derrick a tall broad shouldered Glaswegian was at the head. "So come to rescue us have you, what makes you think we want rescuing hey?" he said in his broad Glaswegian accident.

Kryten spoke. "Sir, in all respect you can not hope to survive here for long. Even on what supplies you managed to gather in your escape. That would be madness!"

Derrick spoke in softer tones. "Listen friend, this place is different it feels like home to us. This planet is amazing, have you seen what is around you. It is wonderful and there are natural minerals here that don't need refining. We have already identified a type of rock that can be ironed into sheet metal. You understand, no smelting no digging with large machines, we can rebuild. We can start again."

Kryten continued. "But sir what about getting back to earth, to friends and family. Surely you want to go home?"

Lister had been Listening and looking around at the faces of the group, he understood. He placed his hand on Krytens shoulder. "Kryten, it is OK man, I think I understand." He went on "These people where re-created millions of years into space with little or no hope of them reaching home."

Derrick turned to Lister. "Yes, here we can live, we can start again. Our choice is simple. Start a new or become trapped in that tin can in space until we die. Sure we might be able to re-build the crew through crew coupling." He looked around at the group and asked louder so all could hear. "Is that a life we want?" Around the group there were many heads clearly indicating they didn't." Derrick continued. "I think I speak for the rest of us, and the answer is No." Once again around the group there was a general nodding in agreement at this statement.

Later that night Lister, Kochanski, Kryten and the Cat sat near a camp fire. They ate the very generous rations that had been handed out to everyone. There was however notably one member of their group missing. Rimmer was on the other side of the camp, his rations on his lap. He was smiling and laughing at whatever his new friend Naddy was saying. It seemed they were getting on very well. Lister felt a pang of jealousy but then he thought it was good to see Rimmer looking happy.

**Thanks to all for reading. Reviews welcome, been fun writing and looking forward to finishing the last chapters soon.**

**Continued thanks to Cazflibs for her Beta work.**


	5. Dreams

It had been almost two months now since they had landed on the planet and joined up with the small group of survivors. In that time they had been helping out with building projects that had slowly been bringing the make shift village to life.

Kryten been enjoying himself, he had found that the soil was perfect for growing all sorts of plants and that it seemed remarkable the rate at which germination occurred. His dream of a garden had finally come true for him and he had been especially enjoying himself in this task.

Rimmer had seen the others less and less over that time. He spent more and more time with Naddy and her friends. He seemed to have relaxed. Lister had suggested to him that maybe not having the pressure of rank and a career had chilled him out. Whatever it was he seemed to not be the old Rimmer that Lister knew; people actually seemed to like him.

Kryten was on his daily rounds and was inspecting something on the far side of the camp. He had walked over to a freshly dug pit and was investigating a small round stone. He scanned the rock. A series of results showed on the screen. Kryten looked at them. "Hmmm Interesting, I must share this with Mr Lister and the others."

He called Lister and Kochanski over to where he was bending over the stone.

"Sir, Ma'am this is _remarkable_, I have never seen anything like it, come look." He babbled in excitement.

Lister knelt down beside him. "What is it man, what the smeg has got you as excited as that time we got you a Super 2000 Squeezy mop for Christmas!"

Krytens eyes glazed over at the thought of the 2000 Squeezy mop with 15 different detached heads.

Lister looked down at the small black stone Kryten was looking at. It seemed a pretty average stone it was shiny with a black surface and about the size of a tennis ball. "It is just a stone Kryten, what's so special?"

Kryten beamed. "This is no ordinary stone this is a planet building stone, and I think I know what's been going on here."

He walked over to a nearby tree stump, freshly cut and sniffed. "Arrhh yes 15% new car smell, 75% Wood. My my, how clever."

Lister looked impatient. "Come on Kryten spill the beans what the smeg is this all about?"

Kryten turned to Kochanski. "I think you know Ma'am."

"I do?" she questioned as she looked at the strangely smelling tree stump.

Krtyen began again. "Yes Man I think you suspected when you saw the first set of scans when we landed here."

She looked at him, remembering those first readings with very high levels of psychic energy that were diminishing.

Like Lister and Rimmer she too in her dimension she and her crew had encountered this kind of readings once before. In her reality it was Lister that had been taken captive by the moon, offering him all the trappings of slob heaven. It had taken her and the others two weeks of begging to convince him that the giant shammy kabab was not real.

"You mean, this place is like a Psi-moon?" came back her question.

Kryten went into smug mode. "Indeed ma'am, a Psi-moon or rather in this case a Psi-planet, and if I am not mistaken it has created this wonderful planet from all the imagination of the Red Dwarf crew."

Lister looked confused, but then said with some urgency. "But Kryten, the last time we encountered one of these smeggers it was trying to kill Rimmer!"

"Are we going to find some rampant beast, wanting to smear us in oil?" He smirked.

Kryten was still looking smug. "I am 95% sure that we won't, but you have to remember that was one mans mind, and a very twisted sick mind at that. This place was built my thousands of minds and it is quite different."

Lister liked those odds but was still a little bit concerned.

Kryten pointed to the two nearby stumps and they sat down while he did his best to explain his theory.

After a short while and many interruptions from Lister and Kocanski, the story was unfolded and Kochanski whistled. "You are telling me that as the crew headed down through the upper atmosphere not knowing what fate awaited them. They started preying, or thinking of what they would need or missed from home and when thousands did this the planet changed, it changed into this."

Lister looked back down at the stone. "But what is to stop it changing again. Changing for the worse?" A worried tone had crept into his voice.

Krytens face brightened brighter than a 100w bulb that had been banned in the mid twentieth century due to it being far too bright for people to read by. The model of bulb in question had caused the mass sale of wrap around sun glasses which in turn made identifying anyone associated with the Mafia very difficult indeed.

"Simple, the Psi-planet has burnt itself out, it has no more creative juices left or at best if it does it has very little indeed."

He pointed down at the stone. Kryten went into smug mode and thought to himself that he liked it when he knew things, clever things that were more than just how many times you should clean the rim of a toilet to make sure it was A1 perfect shinny. He pushed the thought aside and continued.

"I think that stone is a creation stone, I read about it in one of my old Science for Mechanoids weekly supplements. It used to hold a pattern that allowed physic energy to create and form matter."

Lister looked at the stone with a slightly quizzical expression. He picked it up, and noticed how cold it felt. "So this little stone created all this?" he asked looking around at the lush grass and rolling hills. "Come on Kryten!" he said half laughing.

"Indeed sir, that stone and a million others like it. But that stone is blank now, it has nothing left to give."

* * *

Meanwhile on the other side of camp Derrick was asking if anyone was willing to go on an ore deposit search. Naddy was one of the first to step forward and Derrick accepted her help.

Rimmer found out that Naddy was going and the possibility of her and Derrick the Six foot tall squared soldered hunk made him a little bit jealous.

He found Derrick packing up some bits for the trip and went over to him.

"Hi Derrick, I hear you are going out to look for some deposits, need any help?"

Derrick looked up. "Aye, that's right, is about a four day trip."

He continued packing but then looked up. "It's OK Naddy and I have it covered." he said, with what Rimmer could of sworn was a grin.

Rimmer turned away, his shoulders slumped, he thought to himself. '_Oh that's just great, Mr Mussels is going off alone for four nights with the only girl in this universe that actually seems to like me.' _

Derrick looked up from his packing and saw Rimmer slowly walking away. He thought about the long days ahead and changed his mind, he called after him.

"Actually I could do with an extra pair of hands."

Rimmer turned, trying hard to hide his smile. "Err, does that mean I can come along?" he asked with a tinge of begging in his voice.

"Sure." Derrick said, finishing the back pack full of day supplies. He got up and tossed over one of the packs to Rimmer, making it appear light.

"Would you mind taking this?" he said.

Rimmer caught it and was nearly knocked off his feet._ 'Oh boy.' _he thought,_ 'that's heavy.' _But he did not want her to see him looking weak, so he added. "Need anything else carrying?"

"No, that's all, let's head out." With that Derrick and Rimmer found Naddy and walked out of the camp.

Their first days trekking had been pretty easy going. They passed through several valleys and followed a river up into the hills. Naddy marched along, getting into her stride, but ever so often Rimmer caught her looking over her shoulder at him with a smile.

That evening they made camp by a small waterfall. Derrick said he would go off to search for fire wood and asked if the other two could set up camp.

Rimmer and Naddy pulled the survival shelters out of the compressed bags and pressed the release valves. With a slow hiss the two shelters began to take shape.

The two of them set to work on the frames for the slowly inflating structures. Rimmer worked hard, harder in fact than he had in a long time, he was out to impress.

They continued on with the camp and by the time Derrick returned they had a pretty good little setup.

Derrick had some fire wood and he looked over the camp. "Good looking shelters you two, let's get this fire going and cook up some tea."

The three of them sat in front of the now roaring fire. Derrick turned to the others. "So, what did you two do back on the Dwarf then?"

Naddy stretched to warm her feet by the fire. "Well I was a cook, I worked in one of the many canteens. Do you know in the four years I have worked on Red Dwarf I have only worked in the same canteen twice, that ship was just massive.

Derrick quizzed her some more. "So how long have you been with the core and what made you want to live in space?"

"Oh that's easy, I love the stars, I always wanted to travel and my parents were terribly oppressive. I just wanted to get off earth and see some of the universe. I was 18 when I joined up."

Funnythought Rimmer, he had joined up to become an officer but thinking about it, his parents and brothers were as much to blame.

Naddy looked over at Rimmer who was lining up sticks like little solders in front of the fire. "What about you?"

"Oh me, errr I was in charge of Z shift" He paused seeing there faces show no emotion or interest. "OH and X and Y as well, infact pretty much the whole of Red Dwarf lower grade systems came by me." He watched there faces closely, still nothing. "And of course I was about to sit the astro navigation exam."

Derrick spoke. "Really, you wanted to be an officer did you Arnold?"

He tried to look un-interested "Me, oh just thought it might be a good idea." He said, and then thought I hope they don't meet anyone that knew it was not his first attempt at the exam.

He wanted to change the subject but decided now was not the time to introduce them to his love of Telegraph poles and so he asked Derrick. "How about you Derrick, you look like you could of played for the Zero G Jets, why the core for you?"

"Left Space University and bummed around for a bit, but then decided I needed to pay off some debts so I joined up. I worked as a mining deposit engineer; it's what I trained in back on Titan. I joined up 3 years before the accident and was planning on only doing one tour before returning home to my family." He face changed as he spoke this last word.

"Family, I guess their all dead now." He said with a sigh.

Naddy leant over and gave him a hug.

Rimmer watched with envy as the two embraced.

The night's sky was clear and they looked up at the stars, naming them for fun. Then they all noticed a rather large red star that seemed to orbit the planet. No one said it, but they all thought it. _'Was that Red Dwarf?'_

The fire burned low, Derrick took a last swig from his mug and stated. "Going to be a long hike tomorrow, best we get some kip." With that he got up and headed for one of the shelters, leaving the other two gazing into the dieing embers of the fire.

Naddy spoke first. "Have you ever noticed how the stars always tinkle at night?" she said looking up at the big black.

"It's like they go on and off sometimes, I think it's very pretty." She said smiling to herself.

Rimmer hadn't really noticed, it was far more like Lister to gaze out at the stars, but now that he looked up he notice that they did seem to glimmer.

"It's something to do with light travelling across space." He mumbled.

"Really, I just think its lovely, very relaxing." Said Naddy yawning.

Rimmer looked over at her, her slim build lit by the low glow of the fire. He watched her for a moment thinking how he longed go over and sit next to her.

Naddy could feel his eyes on her. She looked over at him and smiled her best smile.

If the light had been better she would of seen him blush but she didn't instead Rimmer got up and said. "Right, best be off to bed then, big day tomorrow."

Naddy got up. "Mr Rimmer, would you escort me to my shelter?" she said mimicking the characters off the Jayne Austin channel.

Rimmer stood there unsure what he had just heard. Had she really asked him to go with her, his nerve finally kicked in and said. "Urrh sure."

She put her arm through his and walked the very short distance to her shelter.

Outside her door, she turned to face him.

"Good night." She said kissing him lightly on the cheek. Then she turned and disappeared inside.

Rimmer stood there, stars exploded in his chest and a strange feeling welled up inside him. He turned crossed the space to his and Derrick's shelter and ducked inside finding Derrick snoring loudly, but even this didn't stop the smile spreading across his face.

Rimmer woke up, covered in sweat, he had fading memories of his dreams, that flicked across his mind, they had not been good. He quickly shook them aside and turned on his torch, his watch read '03:30 AM' . He swept the torch beam over the space where Derrick should of been, but it was empty.

He waited 5 long mintues, '_Smeg, where has the smegger got too.' _He thought.

He decided he would take a look outside and pulled on his jacket and stepped out into the cold night air. He looked over to Naddy's shelter there was no light or any movement. He crept over and listened at the entrance, still nothing.

What the smeg was he going to do now, he could not exactly go knocking on her shelter and say 'Excuse me Naddy do you have Derrick in there with you?' How would that look?

He shivered and looked around the camp but it was too dark to see anything, he failed to notice that the once clear sky was now covered with dark clouds.

He took himself back to bed, he would find out in the morning, if his one chance of happiness was now shattered.

The next time he awoke it was more suddenly, he was woken by a scream.

He started to pull his jacket on but his inner self yelled at him. '_What are you doing, the danger is out there, not in here, go back to bed. Let someone else deal with it!_'

He almost started to take the jacket off, but then he remembered that kiss and his concern for her took over. No he had to know.

Rimmer swallowed hard and stepped out into the grey morning that awaited him, he now noticed the dark clouds that covered the sky. He looked the camp over, there was no sign of them.

The door of Naddy's shelter flapped in the wind, he went over and bent down to look inside. It was empty save the standard issue sleeping bag.

What had happened? Rimmer swore an oath under his breath _'If that Derrick has done something to her, Ill…' _but her did not get time to finish as a second scream came from beyond the tree line.

Rimmer dived back into his shelter, not out of fear but because he needed something. He found Derricks pack and tipped the contents out. He searched the array of items on the shelter floor, tossing this and that out of his way until. '_Yes he had one'_, he knew Derrick would. He picked up the small emergency beacon. He twisted the top and pressed his thumb print onto the top. It scanned his print and confirmed his ident. After a further agonising 30 seconds the device emitted a small beep signalling that it was active.

He paused, but something new inside drove him on and dashed outside. He headed into the trees, hoping that help was on its way.

* * *

Back at the camp Lister and Kryten sat drinking tea when a short man wearing specials came over looking rather worried.

"Hi, errr you're Lister right?" he asked

"Yep, that's me." Said Lister kicking the mud from his boot.

"Your friend, Arnold." But before he could continue Lister interrupted him.

"Wooo there matey. Firstly its Rimmer, or Bone head or if you really want to be nice it's smeghead and secondly, friend is a pretty big word to use with Rimmer in mind."

The man looked at him and almost changed his mind but decided to ignore his comment and continued on.

"He might be in trouble, he and two others from the camp went on a field trip and we have just started to receive an emergency beacon signal." He held out his hand which held a small device that was flashing.

Kryten leaned over and looked at the tracer. "It's signalling from Mr Rimmers ident."

Lister sighed. "Oh great now what's the smegger gone and done."

"Kryten does it say how far they are away?"

Kryten went into product specification mode "Yes, indeed it does. In fact this issue won best stranded an in dire need three years running. It is a standard issue tracing device and can provide a signal up to 2000 clicks away."

Lister sighed. "How far Kryten?"

Kryten looked flustered and looked at the small screen. "Hmmm, it seems to be indicating that they are 30 or so miles away. Might I suggest we fire up Starbug and proceed by air, it will be far quicker?"

Lister got up and dusted his clothes down. "Right then Kryten, better call Kochanski and the Cat, looks like we are going to be the search and rescue posse."

The man with the news looked at the four of them left the camp he said to no one in particular. "I really hope they know what there doing?"

Starbug rose into the air, with the four of them in the cot pit.

Kryten had interfaced the small scanner with Starbugs own, now the heads up display showed a small blip that the Cat was following.

"Mr Cat sir, are you getting anything on your nasal alert?" Kryten Inquired looking over at the Cat in one of his shockingly bright pink outfits.

The Cat looked over his shoulder at Lister. "Nothing, but then someone pretty close to me is blocking most of my senses."

Lister tried to look innocent. "What, it's not like they have planet plumbing installed yet, so what if I have not had a bath in a couple of days or so."

Kochanski looked at him in disgust. "Lister we have been down there for over a month now."

The Cat sat up even straighter than normal. "I think I'm getting something, and it does not smell good."

Kryten looked up from his console. "Sirs, it appears this area of the planet has a rather large storm. I suggest we proceed with caution."

Lister looked round at him. "Oh great, for us that means we take the fluffy dice down, right."

They peered out of the window at the swirling mass of dark clouds that seemed to be circling an area around where the beacons signal.

Lister buckled his seat belt and wrapped his fingers slowly over the flight stick. "Give me manual Kryten, I am taking her down."

* * *

Down in the center of the storm stood Rimmer, he had followed the sound of the scream out of the camp into the thick tree line. He was surrounded by tall trees which blotted out the light but he pressed on buoyed by the need to find her.

Finally he came out in a small clearing, on the far side he could see two figures laid out on what looked like alters. But worse that that, much worse was what was standing between him and them.

In the centre of the clearing was a hideous creature. Rimmer instantly recognised it. Its back was to him but he did not need to see its face to know where he had seen this beast before.

Without turning the beast spoke in a deep tone.

"So, we meet again putrid one."

Rimmer gulped and asked politely in a squeaky voice. "Arh yes, the Unspeakable one isn't it, how have you been keeping?"

"_Enough of your dribble!_" Shouted the beast, spittle dripping from its jaws.

The beast turned on its two hideous legs and faced Rimmer. "You thought you could escape; you know you can never escape the horror that is within your sole."

Rimmer risked a glance past the beast to where Naddy lay. He could not tell if she was alive, but prayed she was. The beast noticed his look.

It reached out a long bony finger to point to Naddy. "You thought you could find happiness with this one? I think not. You know deep down that she could never love one as retched, weak and useless as you."

It moved closer to her, and traced its finger down her cheek. "No, she will be my queen. Of course she will not survive our wedding night."

Rimmer cried out "Noooooooo" and fell to his knees, the feeling of helplessness overcoming him.

Outside the tree line the four others stumbled through the forest. A cry broke the silence around them as Rimmers cry of pain called out.

"That sounded bad, we must be close." Said Kochanski.

Kryten following the small blip on the scanner changed their direction several times, until at last they too came into the same clearing as Rimmer.

Lister stood beside Kryten and took in the scene before him. "What the smeg is going on Rimmer?"

Rimmer was kneeling on the floor, his head in his hands weeping but at the sound Lister he turned his head and found his voice it was broken and desperate.

"Get away…. Get way while you can, leave me!"

Lister took a step closer, which in turn made the monster roar with anger. Lister spoke as calmly as he could. "Listen man you know the rules, its, one for all and all for one. We can't leave you."

Listers words had some affect on the monster as reeled and thrashed. "Noooo , not again." It cried out.

Kryten scanned the beast, the results confirmed his fears. "Sir, I believe this is the same manifestation as we experienced on the Psi-Moon before. The Psi-Planet must have had enough energy and somehow has tapped into Rimmers mind to produce it again."

Lister looked down at Rimmer. "How can the same smeg happen to the same smeghead twice? You really are messed up Rimmer."

Lister took another step closer to Rimmer, but this time the beast took on almighty leap and landed in front of him. It held up a finger to Listers face and waggled it. "I don't think so." It mocked and knocked Lister off his feet and across the clearing, leaving him unconscious.

The beast turned to Kochanski who had barely time to raise her weapon, and before she could fire a scaly hand was pressed to her head. Kochanski looked puzzled then slumped to the floor.

Cats reacted faster and blasted three volleys into the beasts back. It turned to face him laughing. The Cat grinned, the Beasts mouth opened and was sick all over him. He dropped to the floor, covered in green slim. He was muttering something about green and pink not matching.

Kryten was slowly backing away and as the beast turned on him he asked hopefully. "Errr Mr Beast, might I suggest you let us all go and maybe we will find a nice Mrs Beast for you?"

The beasts answer was swift, it's tail wiped around cutting Kryten in to two halves. Leaving Kryten lying on the floor, his eyes rolled up into his head while his systems shut down.

Rimmer meanwhile saw that now was his chance while the beast was distracted doing unspeakable things to his crew mates. He pulled himself up and ran over to where Naddy lay. He leaned over her silent body.

He felt her neck; she had a pulse, she was alive!

Hope! But what to do?

Nothing, he had nothing, but slowly an idea formed and Rimmer took a deep breath and did the only think he could think of; he kissed her.

The response was almost instant. Her eyes flicked open, but instead of pulling away she kissed him back. Her arms closed wrapped around him and they kissed long and deep.

The two were snapped out of there passionate embrace by the sound of the beast roaring. They looked around to see it withering and thrashing on the ground. They watched it slowly disappeared into a pile of green slime.

Naddy looked back at Rimmer. "What was that thing?" she asked her voice showing signes of the nights ordeal.

Rimmer simply said. "Something that should of died a long time ago."

The others, each were slowly picking themselves up of the floor all expect Kryten and Derrick.

Lister had gone over to Kryten and was trying to raise him out of his shutdown. He called back to the others as Krytens eyes flicked open. "I think he's OK, well as OK as anyone is who is suddenly able to look at their own arse."

Kocanski was up on her feet now, rubbing her head. She walked groggily over to Rimmer and Naddy. "What happened?"

Naddy replied. "I'm not sure, it just seem to melt away."

Naddy looked over and noticed Derrick still lying on the slab, he had not woken up like the rest. "Arnold, you have to help him."

Rimmer held her hand. "Em, kissing beautiful ladies in distress yes, but large Glaswegian chaps no. Not really my speciality, I think I'll pass."

Kocanski looked at Rimmer and then at Derrick. She walked over to Derrick and bent over her mouth hovering over his. At the last second she brought her hand up and pinched his thigh. Derrick eyes flicked open.

"Hey, what did you do that for?" he asked.

Around the group, giggles and laughter erupted from the others as the tension of the night faded away.


	6. Going Home

**Well here we are almost at the end of this story. Oh boy has it taken a while to pen. Thanks to all that continue to read, or at least create hits on the story counter (smile). **

**Hope you like, comments welcome.**

Once back at the camp, Rimmer buried himself in his work. The rest of them went about helping out with the different projects around the camp. Rimmer had decided it was best to lie low and concentrate on his own project for now.

Lister sat next to Kryten as his two halves were finally rejoined by Tim who as it happened had a hobby in droid engineering.

"You know Kryten, I think Rimmer and Naddy learned something about each other that night in the woods." Said Lister, resting his chin on his hands.

Kryten tipped his head towards him. "What is that sir? Is it that you don't go on a date with Rimmer on a Psi-Planet unless you like marrying huge dribbling monsters!"

"No Kryten, she said it made her understand him more, brought her closer to him."

"Sir, Understanding Rimmer is a big task."

Tim stepped back. "Right, that should do it. Kryten can you try stand up for me."

Kryten rose slowly to his feet. "Hmmm excellent Job Mr Tim Sir. Thank you."

Lister got up also, right lets go find Kochanki and the Cat, we need to talk.

The three of them looked expectantly at Lister. Kochanski stood with her hands on her hips. She was covered up to her waste in mud. She didn't look very happy thought Lister.

"Lister what is this all about?" she asked.

Lister mind wondered as he looked her up and down and thought '_She looks good in mud._'

Kochanski noticing his eyes slightly glazing over, coughed, bring Lister back from his personal thoughts.

He began again. "Guys, we need to decide if we are going to stay or go."

"Go where, this place is as good as what is round the next hill, trust me I've looked!" the Cat grinned at him.

Lister continued. "No Cat, I wanna go back to the Dwarf"

The Cat had been having a rough time with the ladies in the camp. It seemed they did not have the same level of appreciation for his looks and style as the he did. The females here had kept asking him what he was good at and what his plans were. He just looked at them in disgust and told them '_Baby, What am I good at? Why I am good at being the Sexiest person in existence. What else do you need?_' However this piece of news had not gone down so well and most had simply ignored him or walked away tutting something about '_Men'_.

He sulked, sitting on a nearby create. "I say we leave these monkeys to it, I need to pick up some fresh suits anyhow."

Kochanski shifted on her legs and bits of dry mud cracked off her legs, she sighed thinking. '_That new bore hole was never going to get ready at this rate.'_ She gave Lister one of her best let's get on with it looks.

"Lister, I know you want to get back to Earth but how realistic is that, I mean we are three million years or so into deep space! This place is pretty good."

Lister grinned. "Yeah, that's true, but getting home, that's the fun part. I told you about those future echoes's. You know the ones I had back on Red Dwarf, at light speed."

Kochanski gave him a different look; she tried her 'Do I look like I care look'. But Lister carried on anyway.

"I've seen my future and it involves me being on Red Dwarf. "

Kryten interjected. "Sir, you have no way of knowing if that event will occur in this future, we may have already changed time and those events may never happen."

Lister face set into a determined look. "I like to make my own choices, and I choose Red Dwarf."

Kryten look surprised. "But why sir this place offers you a chance to start again."

"Kryten, while this place is pretty smegging amazing I have no sudden urge to live out the Wild West for real and anyway it is going to take ages before someone opens up a decent Indian takeaway around here!"

Kryten calculated his next thought; it took his sub processor all of 0.4 seconds. "Sir In that case I am duty bound to come with you."

Lister placed his hand on Krytens shoulder. "Kryten, don't give me that crap, you and I know that you broke that programming. If you want to stay you can."

Kryten had been busy since they landed on the planet, there he had been lots of jobs and his skills were wanted by a great number of people, but he had a great many tasks unfinished on board Red Dwarf including three months of Lister's washing to catch up on.

"No sir, I need to get back, goodness knows what mess the Red Dwarf is in."

Kryten's pleasure meter rose as he thought of all that cleaning he would have to do when he got back. The pleasure meter was created by DivaDroid Industries. It was designed to encourage droids to do more manual work by making them think it was pleasurable.

Lister faced Kochanski a cheeky grin crept across his face., "So Krissy, are you staying or coming with the Boys from the Dwarf?"

Both Kryten and the Cat joined Lister in the Boys hand wave, as they let the hand go limp and shack from side to side.

Kristen Kochanski thought it over, if she stayed she might find a new purpose, might even meet someone herself, start a family, settle down. '_Wooo there girl'_ she thought, '_I'm not quite ready for all that.' _And then there was the question of who would keep this rabble out of trouble and the faint possibility of getting back to her Dave.

She grinned back at Lister. "Ok I am in, but you still don't get to call me Krissy, and I get my own quarters with a lock on the door!"

Lister smiled. "Deal"

She continued. "Oh and we get to have Salad once a week!"

Lister paused, placed his hand behind his back and crossed his fingers. "Deal" he said smiling.

So it was decided they would go back to Red Dwarf and find out if the Virus had worked. Now someone had to tell Rimmer.

* * *

The group found Rimmer over by a small structure that was clearly in a state of build. He had his sleeves rolled up and was holding a rather large hammer.

"Lister! " He called

Lister and the others walked over to him. Rimmer climbed down the ladder "Hi, what do you think? It is not much but I hope to call it home real soon."

The others looked at the small wooden cabin, it was pretty well built. Rimmer invited them inside. They all just about fitted into the one larger room, and could see another smaller off to one side.

Lister ran his hand down the wall and turned to Rimmer. "Rimmer man, when did you become a handy man, this is pretty good."

Rimmer leant over to a shelf and picked up a small yellow manual, the cover stating '**Survival home building for Dummies.**' he handed it to Lister.

Rimmer turned to hammer in a nail. "It is pretty straight forward really. I actually kind of enjoy it."

Lister looked around at the shell of a wooden hut that Rimmer was going to call home, and it hit him. Home, he was planning on staying here.

"Rimmer don't you want to get back to Red Dwarf and head for Earth?" He knew the response even before Rimmer turned to him and smiled.

"Listy, I feel I am home. These people they have made me feel welcome. This place is good for me. Here I am part of the team, and loved." He smirked as he said the last word.

"Here I can be something more than First technician Arnold J. Rimmer."

Lister had to admit Rimmer had changed, and he did seem to fit in well here, but this was a big ask. He had not planned on leaving Rimmer behind. He assumed he would come with them.

Rimmer could see Listers concern at the news, and thought it was about time he told him something. Time to tell him a biggy.

He stepped outside and found who he was looking for over by a nearby stream, she was bent over it cleaning out a pot. Even doing this she looked like heaven to Rimmer.

He called to her. "Naddy….Naddy Darling can you come here please?"

Naddy looked up at the sound of his voice and smiled; she packed up and headed over to Rimmer and the others.

Rimmer took the pots under one arm and held her hand in the other. Then he kissed her lightly on the cheek before turning to the others. "Guys, we have something to tell you. I would like you to meet my fiancée."

Listers world halted at the news. Fiancee, wow Rimmer had kept that quite. Here was a man with little to no relationship experience who was going to get married.

Kochanski however smiled at the news and flung her arms around them both. "That is great news, no super news." She beamed kissing them each on the cheek.

Kryten held out his hand. "I believe it is customary among humans to shake on such splendid news sir." Rimmer gripped his hand tightly.

"Cheers Krytee."

Lister thoughts began to come like a run away train.

Rimmer married,

No wait Rimmer has a girlfriend!

This was why Rimmer wanted to stay.

He had found someone special. Someone who needed him, someone who loved him.

Smeg Rimmer it seemed had finally found his place in this crazy old Universe.

He smiled at Rimmer. "Nice man, very nice indeed."

Then holding his arms out wide in front of him he said "Give us a hug you big SmegHead." At which he embraced the pair and began sobbing.

Rimmer and Naddy invited them all too a little party that night and not wanting to spoil the good news, Lister let the fact that they had decided to leave wait until after the party.

Lister looked at the others. "Well guys, He is going to stay, and I don't think we can change his mind.

The Cat grinned. "Change his mind, you are one twisted monkey you know that!"

* * *

Boy what a party, where they had found that hooch from, no one knew but several people next day seemed to have no memories from last night. Lister sat up, and watched the room spin, he was sure it was not meant to be still doing that. He got to his feet and went to find the Rimmer.

Rimmer was in a small garden that was attached to the new house he was building.

Rimmer noticed him coming and called out. "Hey Lister you wouldn't mind giving me a hand with this soil extractor would you?"

Lister thought for a man who had been doing the can-can through the camp last night he was looking pretty good.

Lister gripped the other end of the soil extractor and lifted it into position. He was about to say something but seemed to change his mind.

"Come on Lister, something's up, you've got that look" Smirked Rimmer

"What look, I don't have a look." Replied Lister.

"Yes you do, you know the one you get when you are trying to hide the real reason you need to talk to someone."

Rimmer pulled at the starter motor and the machine burst into life.

Lister had to yell above the noise of the engine. "OH THAT LOOK, YEAH WELL WE KINDA NEED TO TALK!"

Rimmer looked up at Listers face, this was a serious conversation he could tell. He turned the machine off.

"Well, you and I better go inside and talk it over then."

The two of them sat at the table and chairs made out of old supply boxes in Rimmers new home.

Rimmer poured Lister a drink. "So Lister, what has got you all looking like someone put out your birthday candles before you got to make a wish?"

Lister fiddled with his hat. "You see, the thing is" he paused, unsure how to go on.

Rimmer interrupted him. "The thing is you and the others are going back to Red Dwarf, is that it?"

Lister looked up from his hat that he was fiddling with, Rimmer didn't look to sad about this news. "Yeah, basically that's it. We are going to leave tomorrow."

Rimmer head flicked up. "Tomorrow, you can't go that soon, your miss the wedding!"

It was Listers turn to sound surprised. "Wedding? You have only just got engaged Rimmer."

"Arrh well not my idea, all Naddy's. She says best we get on with our lives and all that, and well why not. Got anything in your diary for a week next Tuesday?"

Lister shook his head. "No."

Rimmer smiled. "Good, because I wonder if you would be my best man, seeing as you are the closest thing I have to a long term." Rimmer paused and then finished "err friend."

Lister was not sure how to take the news, it was all happening so fast, his mouth seemed to go into autodrive and he heard himself say. "Err, sure Rimmer."

Rimmer sighed. "That's great news Listy."

Rimmer thought about his next sentence, it was important to him. He felt that he was a changed man. "Lister here I have a second chance here, a real chance of happiness. Sure I may never make it to being an officer but I know now that isn't everything."

He could see Lister was clearly shocked at all the recent news. "Listen, I really thank you and the others for coming back and saving me, but you and I have said goodbye before. Remember when the old me went off to be Ace. You told me that story right? Well it's time for me to stay here and make a new life.

Lister sighed. "I guess your right, I'm going to miss you SmegHead."

* * *

The wedding had been fairly low key, but Lister had kept his promise and had even taken a bath. Kryten had blubbed the whole way through, and the Cat made a special suite for the occasion, it was so bright that the guests had to wear sunglasses just to look at him. Lister had stood next to Rimmer as Naddy had walked slowly towards Rimmer.

Lister had nudged Rimmer in the ribs and kwipped " Very nice, Very nice indeed."

The party after was a bit crazy, everyone taking the time to let go of the recent stresses. Lister had spent most of the evening watching Kochanski until finally she had come over and dragged him up for a dance.

The sun came up over the new Earth or Dwarfers World as the ex-crew of Red Dwarf had started calling it. Lister and the others set about saying their goodbyes. There had been lots of people who had asked them to stay, but Lister deep down knew this was not his world.

They loaded up with fresh supplies and it was only the Rimmers that they had to say goodbye to.

They found them grinning to each other outside their home.

Each of them embraced Naddy and said their goodbyes. The Cat had to be pulled off her by Rimmer, after his goodbye hug lasted over 10 mins.

Rimmer turned to his new wife. "Listern, err prob best if I go with them alone to say… well you know, goodbye and all."

Naddy smiled up at him and any concerns he had disappeared. "Go, I'll be here when you get back."

They set off too where Starbug stood.

Kryten tapped the code into the door and it slid open. He turned to Rimmer. "Good bye Mr Rimmer sir and good luck."

"See you Kryten" Rimmer said as he watched Kryten disappear into the ship.

The Cat had already squeezed past but then he seemed to have an after thought and poked his head out the door. "See ya Rimmer, it was not nice knowing you budd!." He grinned.

Rimmer smiled back at him. "You to Cat."

Kochanski gave Rimmer a hug and a kiss on the Cheek. "Take care of that wife Arnold Rimmer" she said.

"Will do." Rimmer said smirking at the jealous look on Listers face from the kiss. Then she disappeared inside with the others.

It was just the two of them, just like it had been at the beginning. The sun was now full in the sky gently warming them.

Lister spoke first. "You know, I am going to miss that."

"Miss what?" questioned Rimmer.

Lister closed his eyes and turned his face to the sun. "The sun man. Smeg nothing like the warm feeling on your skin, it's not the same in VR."

Rimmer looked at his colleague. "Well Listy, you can visit anytime you like?"

"Cheers man, you never know, I might just do that."

He pulled a small piece of paper out of his back pocket as Kryten appeared at the door and handed Lister his guitar.

"I've written a small song Rimmer, hope you don't mind."

Rimmers face struggled not to show the dread at the possibility that Lister was going to play for him.

Lister struck a cord. "Rimmer I got to go!"

He struck another cord, which sounded like the first. "Rimmer I don't know how it will go!"

Then he stopped.

"I only got that far, its kinda work in progress."

Rimmer sighed in relief. "Thanks Lister, maybe you can play it to me when you've finished it sometime."

Rimmer stuck out his hand for Lister to Shake, Lister grabbed it and pulled Rimmer into a bear hug.

"I'm going to miss you smeghead!"

Then he stepped back and turned to enter the door into Starbug. On the threshold he turned one final time.

"See ya SmegHead." He said grinning as he stepped inside and the door slide down.

Rimmer pulled a full double Rimmer salute as the small green craft rose into the air. He watched as it got smaller and smaller until finally he could no longer make out the familiar shape of Starbug.

He spoke, almost a whisper really.

"See ya Listy, see ya."

**From the next chapter:**

The cat stood at the door to his closet. He closed and opened it twice more before he turned to the monitor on the wall. "Hey Face, where are all my suits?"

"Oy, watch who you are calling face, its Holly right!."

The Cat glared at him. "I don't care, where are all my babies?"

"The Virus ate them!" said Holly trying to look concerned, well at least he thought that was what his pixels where doing right now, he was not 100% sure.

The Cats voice rose by two octaves. "IT DID WHAT!"

Holly face did not change he simply repeated the fact. "It ate them."

The Cats disappeared down the corridor shouting something, Holly was not sure what but it sounds like. "It ate my suites, my suites, Arrhhhh"


	7. Back on the Dwarf

**Hi everyone (or just you my faithful reader), welcome to the last chapter in Rimmer ReBorn 'It ends here'. It has been good fun, and thanks to Cazflibs for her early chapter beta work and helping me find a flow and improve my writing style (god I hope its improved, I know my English has not.) It would be nice to hear what there other readers think, so be nice and give a little review.**

**Enjoy.**

Lister sat at the controls of Starbug, while the others all sat at their familiar stations; all except Rimmer's which is now empty.

"Any sign of the Dwarf?" Lister asked

Kochanski looked up from the Navigation console. "Yep can't really miss it, 500 clicks and closing."

"Well then, let's take this smegger home." Lister hit the retro's and Starbug lurched towards the hulk that was Red Dwarf.

"20 Clicks and closing" reported Kochanski.

The communication screen fizzed into life and a familiar face appeared.

"Alright Dudes, what's happening in grove town?"

Lister looked up at the face of the middle aged man with his bald head.

"Hol man is that really you?"

Holly smiled. "Yep, same old butt kicking dude."

Kryten addressed Holy "Holy, can we have a damage control report on Red Dwarf please?"

"Hang on I'll check?" They watched the face on the screen look to the left and to the right then up and down.

"Yep, all OK as far as I can see."

Kochanski sighed. "I see he's lost none of his superior intellect."

Starbug passed through the doors of flight deck 1 and its retros fired as the Cat brought it down. All four stared out of the window.

"Wow this place has more sparkle than one of my disco suits?" said the Cat, looking at the scene out the window.

Lister turned to Holy. "Hol, what's happened why does it look, well better?"

"Do you want the masters' scientific answer or the junior one?" asked Holly.

"Junior, at least then we have some hope of Lister understanding it." Said Kochanski

"Hey, I'll have you know I went to Art College, don't you know!" Spurned Lister.

"Well, it seems that your anti virus was infected with some of the other dimensions nanobots and they told me that this version of the ship is to their dimensions specs." Holly was trying hard to look like he knew what nanobots really were.

Kryten beamed. "Fascinating, are they still around, I would love to know what the Series 4000 was like in there Dimension?"

"No sorry mate, they buggered off, once I told them about you lot."

Kochanski looked puzzled. "Hang on, what happened to the other Holly from the last restored ship, you know the clever one?"

Holly face didn't really change he just simply said. "He's dead!"

Kochanski pushed him. "But how, surely they would of restored him also."

"Well you see, the thing about nanobots from other dimensions, the thing is, they figured that seeing as I was already hanging around on Listers old wrist watch, they would restore me instead. Oh and the fact that I told them he was a terrible bore and would probably assign them to boring ship duties or something."

Lister smiled at Holly. "You did a deal, didn't you?"

Holly smirked. "Well, I knew that if they restored him, he would turn the ship around and work out a way to save the old crew, thereby putting you lot back in the tank and me back in Listers pocket." Holly's features changed to a grimace as he remembered the dark place that was Listers left pocket.

They left the Starbug and went to find their old quarters.

* * *

Lister stood outside his and Rimmers old room, only now it was just his room. He paused a moment longer and went in.

Kochanski found her old quarters much as she had left them before the accident. She whooped for joy at the contents of the closet which had multiple items of clothing hanging on neat hangers.

The cat stood at the door to his closet. He closed and opened it twice more before he turned to the monitor on the wall. "Hey Face, where are all my suits?"

"Oy, watch who you are calling face, its Holly right!."

The Cat glared at him. "I don't care, where are all my babies?"

"The Virus ate them!" said Holly trying to look concerned, well at least he thought that was what his pixels where doing right now, he was not 100% sure.

The Cats voice rose by two octaves. "IT DID WHAT!"

Holly face did not change he simply repeated the fact. "It ate them."

The Cats disappeared down the corridor shouting something, Holly was not sure what but it sounds like. "It ate my suites, my suites, Arrhhhh"

* * *

Three months had passed since they had arrived back on the Dwarf. Holly and Kochanski had told them they had a route that they hoped was for Earth. They had not left Dwarfers World yet. Lister had told the others it was only fair to see if any of the survivors or Rimmer changed their minds about staying on the planet. They had checked the long wave radio signals each day.

"Kryten, anything today on the radio man?" asked Lister almost looking a little too eager to hear news.

"No nothing sir, it has been three whole months and we have heard nothing from the planet. All long range scans indicate life forms still present down there and everything appears normal."

Lister sighed. "I guess he's really going to stay down there."

Kryten moved over to where Lister had plonked himself down and had now placed his feet up on the desk. "Sir, if I may speculate."

Lister nodded. "Sure Kryten, speculate away."

Kryten fiddled with his hands in front of his chest. "Well Sir, it seems you are missing Mr Rimmer far more than you ever realised."

Lister looked up. "Who Rimmer, naaa, things are great around here without that smeg head."

"Then why Sir, have you straighten his book shelf nearly twenty four times and had me press his underpants on hangers nearly every week."

Lister shrugged his shoulders. "OK man, maybe I have missed him a little. It's just not the same around here, it's too smegging quite."

"But Sir, what about Miss Kochanski, haven't you and her been getting on better." Kryten said.

Lister sighed. "Sure, year I guess. I mean since she and I have only been seeing each other in the corridor its just great."

Kryten twiddled his two index fingers together and looked worried. "Oh, things still not good huh."

Lister tossed the paper cup he been drinking into the near by waste paper basket. "Well, lets just say, I don't think any horizontal action is on the cards Kryters."

Lister got up and on his way out he turned to Krtyen. "I'll be down in the Bar on D deck if you need me. "

Kryten stood there looking concerned.

* * *

A further four months had passed since deciding to leave the Psi-Planet behind and head for home and it had been a further two weeks since that dreadful day when Kryten had told Lister the lie.

Lister had taken the news badly. He could not grasp that she was gone, and not just gone but gone forever.

Now he was dealing with the loss of the only women in universe that he truly ever loved, and from the state that Kryten last saw him in, it was not a good place to be.

Kryten opened the door to the bar, it was dark.

Kryten felt he had to whisper. "Hello Mr Lister Sir, are you here?"

This was the tenth bar he had searched today, and it was taking him far longer than he planned. It was not helped by the fact that each time he came across a new bar, if anyone had not cleared and washed the glasses away, Kryten would set to work doing just that.

He scanned the room, and there in the corner he found him. Lister was slumped over a bottle of some good forsaken spirit.

"Sir, Mr Lister Sir." Said Kryten his voice in full concern mode.

No response from the heap on the table.

"Mr David Lister Sir, are you OK?"

A hand raised slowly from the table top and gave a half hearted wave, then fell back down to where it had risen from.

Kryten went over to him, he pulled the portable mediscan out of his bag and scanned. The reading was not good. They were not normally great for Lister on a good day but today they were off the scale.

He reached down and lifted the slumped figure onto his shoulder and headed for a Medibay.

The Cat and Kryten stood over the laid out figure of Lister. The Medibay machines gave out a gentle beep that told them that Lister was at least alive, if only barely.

The Cat turned away from Lister and looked over at Kryten. "Is the Monkey going to Live, can I have his stuff?"

Kryten finished plumping Listers pillow before replying. "Well considering I have had to pump his stomach five times and used 10 bags of saline drip, he's fine."

The Cat smiled. "That's good, because I need you to help me build a new wardrobe to support all the new cloths I've made."

Kryten went into fluster mode. "I am sorry Mr Cat, but I could not possibly leave Mr Listers side at this time. You will have to wait."

"Wait, If there is one thing this Kitty does not do it's waiting." And with that he span around and left Kryten with the sleeping Lister.

A full two days later Lister woke from his slumber.

"Oh me head, me smegging head. Where am I?"

Kryten leant over and shined a small medical torch into Lister left eye.

"Hey" shouted Lister as his pushed Krytens hand aside.

Kryten stepped back. "Mr Lister Sir, you must rest. With what you have put your body through lately you need more rest."

Lister looked around the room. "What I need Kryten is a drink, a stiff one."

Kryten face turned stern. "No more drink, it's what got you into this mess in the first place."

Lister looked up, trying to put his face into his best innocent look. "Oh, come on Kryters old buddy, just one for the road."

Holly appeared on the wall screen.

"Alright Dave, he's right you know. You have been a right mess. Not seen you this bad since I told you that everybody was dead."

A tear welled up in Listers left eye.

Kryten berated Holly. "Holly this is not the time or place to discuss such things, Mr Lister needs complete rest."

Holly clearly did not get the message and continued on. "Alright mate, I was just saying that he went crazy the last time that every one around him was dead and now what with Kochanski gone and Rimmer living his perfect life on some planet, Dave here clearly has not got a lot to live for."

Krytens annoyance level raised twice its normal level. "Now you listen here Holly, Mr Lister has plenty to live for, he's got me you and the Cat and well you know."

Lister sat up and was half way to reaching for the medical cabinet supplies of Medical Alcohol. "Kryten, he's right, what have I got to live for anymore. I am a washed up lonely space bum who can't even get horizontal with his ex girlfriend being the only man left in space."

Kryten put Lister back in bed and told him to rest. With that he locked the medical cabinet and left Lister to sulk.

Outside the room, he turned to the monitor on the wall and called Holly. "Holly, we have got to do something about Mr Lister."

Holly, thought for a second, and then for one brief microsecond a brilliant plan started to form in his back circuits. Somewhere deep down in the ship and idea was forming.

"Kryten, leave it to me. Meet me in the Holosweet." And with that he blipped off the screen.

As Kryten entered the Holo Projection hub, he saw that the computers where firing up. "Holly, are you doing what I think you are doing?"

Holly appeared on the screen. "If you mean am I going to save David Listers life for the second time, then yes I am doing what you think I am doing."

Kryten looked worried. "Holly, if you are doing what I think you are doing, then surely this might tip him over the edge further."

Holly rolled his eyes. "When have I every got it wrong?"

Kryten paused and then commented. "Well a week last Tuesday, you had me check every vending machine on B deck because you were sure ten had gone missing, when in fact the ships log clearly showed that there should of only been 56 vending machines on deck B and not 66."

Holly looked away. "An innocent mistake that could happen to anyone and anyway how do you know that aliens could not of come aboard and changed the logs and removed 10 vending machines."

Kryten was trying not to look too exasperated. "Why would aliens want vending machines?"

"Who knows, but it is an interesting thought isn't it."

Kryten sighed, he thought that if Hollys plan didn't work it could hardly make things worse. "I've got the Holo storage slug from Starbug as requested Holly."

"Good, now slot it into the Holo matrix drive and stand back, this could get messy."

Kryten interested the data slug into the drive and watched it slide into the drives hatch and disappear. He then took Hollys advice and stood back.

"Engaging Hologram relay program."

A series of beeps and numbers appeared on the main console. Then a message flashed up.

'Hologram data transfer complete'

Holly smiled. "Right then, that's the first bit done now lets get grooving."

"Run hologram program Rimmer 4B"

The competer screen flashed up another message.

'Rimmer program 4B running'

Kryten watched as Rimmers form took shape in the middle of the room. He looked at the screen as it loaded each of Rimmers personality files into the form. Finally it flashed up a message.

'Hologram program complete, ready to run.'

Holly spoke one final command. "Run Hologram Rimmer."

With that the static form of Arnold flicked into life. Confusion should across his face then fear and then well nothing just the normal dry crack of a smirk that was Rimmer.

Kryten addressed him. "Mr Rimmer Sir, welcome back online."

Rimmer looked over at Kryten. "Kryten, what is happening, where am I?"

Holly spoke up. "I can answer that. You are a Hologram on board the mining ship Red Dwarf 3 million years into the future."

Rimmers face turned into a sneer. "I know that you kimboid of a computer. I mean what am I doing back on Red Dwarf, why am I not on Starbug with Lister and the Cat?"

Kryten held up his hands. "Sir, I can explain. The you that was on Starbug left to become Ace Rimmer, then we found the alive version of you on board a Nano version of Red Dwarf. We all then served time in Red Dwarfs prison the Tank and he nearly died until Mr Lister and the rest of us saved him by returning from a mirror universe. Then we found a Psi-Planet and now that version of you is living on a Psi-Planet with his wife. You are the version just before you left to be Ace, and we brought you back to help Lister who is trying to drink himself to death because he misses the Kocanski that came through from a parallel universe and is now gone and well frankly he is also missing you Sir."

Rimmer made a look of understanding. "Oh, that old story, I go off to be captain smarty pants, get reborn, become a jail bird, nearly die, marry and then get reborn as a Hologram here to save a pissed up Lister, who apparently misses me. Well if that's all I missed then I should have no problem adjusting, just one thing."

"What's that sir?" said Kryten.

"Turn me off!!"

Kryten looked concerned. "But why sir, we need you, Mr Lister needs you."

Rimmer flared his nostrils. "If that lot has happened in the time I have been away, I am not sure I want to be back, god knows what will happen next. No wait let me guess, we get transported to another Dimension where none of us are real and are in fact characters in a TV show."

Kryten flustered. "Sir no that is just ludicrous, nothing like that could happen around here."

Holly chipped in again. "Rimmer, can I just remind you that you are now highest ranking person on Red Dwarf and with the Anti Retro virus refit it's bigger and better than before."

Rimmers eyebrows raised. "Really how much bigger?"

Holly lied. "50x bigger"

"Really that big, well I guess someone's got to hang around and pull this ship together. Right O, so where is that slob Lister then."

"He is up in Medibay twelve." Replied Holly.

Rimmer strode out of the room and left Kryten and Holly looking at each other.

Rimmer approached the door of Medibay twelve but before he even had opened it he heard the thumping beat of a Rasta Billy Skank number from within. He thought '_Same old Lister'_and with that he opened the door and Listers life changed once more.

The End

**I don't own any of the rights to anything Red Dwarf, Grant Naylor have that pleasure and I thank them for giving us such a great story to play with.**


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